@vineyille: [screaming over sirens] I SAID ACTUALLY YOU'RE NOT "FIGHTING" THE FIRE YOU'RE WATERING IT
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@robfee: Paper towel ads always show kids making huge messes then mom smiles & cleans it up. My mom would've handed me a mop then beat me with a belt
@WesTheFatKid: "Because Im a goddamned rock star!" wasn't the answer my boss was looking for as to why I was late to work, lesson learned.