@vineyille: [screaming over sirens] I SAID ACTUALLY YOU'RE NOT "FIGHTING" THE FIRE YOU'RE WATERING IT
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@SatansTongue: *el chapo dies* God: okay I'm gonna have to send you to hell Chapo: ok *3 weeks later* Angel: El Chapo has escaped from hell
@YeahDrewisOn: Sure he's handsome, funny, smart, charming and successful, but can he fit 54 M&M's in his mouth at once? I didn' fink fo
@SardonicTart: Just vacuumed my couch and found 16 bobby pins, 84 cents, 3 kinds of cereal, a spoon and a live hedgehog.
@AsaAkira: A lot of you are calling me "mom" lately. Is it cause I'm old? Or cause you respect me? I hope for your sake it's cause I'm old.