@RadBadger: Screw your Twitter Crushes and Twitter Husbands and Twitter Nemeses. I want a Twitter Penguin. I want a pet penguin, but only on Twitter.
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@Social_Mime: Walking my dog we saw a guy in a suit walking his dog and I know my dog is thinking I don't dress nice for him anymore.
@doublewenis: Dude! Stop being such a baby, man up, walk over there and ask her if she like, 'like-likes' me.
@lecalabara: I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.