@PastorBate: Sea cucumbers are actually animals, so regular cucumbers are either lying or they need to step their game up.
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@TheDarkSideCEO: Optimistic Thought of the Day: You are always 1/3 of the way towards having a threesome.
@kelkulus: Female praying mantises bite the heads off males while mating, so if your mantis boyfriend shows up without a head, he was cheating on you.
@Travon: The Queen is so afraid of how the vote will turn out, she put Sam Smith in a boat circling Scotland singing "Stay With Me" into a megaphone.