@shutupmikeginn: Sea turtles happened when god got stoned one night and wondered what would happen if a frisbee was a lizard.
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@WilliamAder: Turned off my lights for "earth hour". I've never had so many other cars honking at me.
@DirtMcTurd: I just did my own taxes for the first time and I'm glad I did because I'm getting 8 million dollars back this year!
@behindyourback: Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. After that we'll go by who has the birthday closest to today, then by height.