@timdonakowski: *Searches “Yahoo” on Yahoo until Yahoo has an orgasm*
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@TheTennisPhenom: hello 911, yeah me again. so listen 29 of my recent tweets have been stolen and.. hello? hello?
@sandjoeman: I love when people tell me they'll "see me in hell" as if I'm not gonna weasel my way out of those plans too.
@shawnspree: You know she loves you when you wakeup in a pool of ice in the motel room bathtub with only one kidney removed.