@AcerbicSuburban: Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_LUMP: People in Arab nations are still wondering what all the western world hub bub about hump day and camel toe is about.
@ILikeFaucet: Boss: Dan why is your hand raised? Me: can I go to the bathroom? Boss: Dan you're 23. This is a business meeting Me: so that's a yes?
@Anon_imosity: I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it