@junejuly12: Seeing a woman drinking, smoking, and gambling while in her wedding dress makes me realize I need to up my multi-tasking game.
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@TheBoydP: Hey Mexican food restaurant waiter, if the basket is empty you don't have to ask. YES I WANT MORE CHIPS!
@ddsmidt: Whenever my husband "puts something away" I'm always suspect. I mean, it's not as if he really knows where anything goes.
@evidentlyblonde: Open an ice cream shop with flavors like "don't be sad," "they're not worth it," "you deserve better" and see if people don't flock right in
@LoveNLunchmeat: Of all the millions and trillions of literary devices, hyperbole is my favorite.