@donni: *sees a shark in a homemade clam costume*
That's a pretty dubious clam
@TheDairylandDon: If you think explaining this election to children was tough, try being single. The dog and houseplant just sat there in confused silence.
@FeelingMervis: Damnnnnn gurl... I wanna to take you back to my place, get you alone and just do work on your grammar.
@simoncholland: You should be able to make your GPS call you a code name.
"Bobcat, in 3.1 miles turn left"
"Recalculating, Bobcat, you're going rogue."
@CornOnTheGoblin: [gathers around casket and see's it's full of gatorade] uh oh, then that means
[grandma's body is being dumped over the winning coach]
@KevinFarzad: Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying "the economy" a lot.