@donni: *sees a shark in a homemade clam costume*
That's a pretty dubious clam
@weinerdog4life: Met someone on Craigslist, guess I'm dating a grill now.
@AlexErnst: crush: i really like music
me: *gets jealous of music and rips off crushes ears*
@DarthPutinKGB: Men who claim to only watch the #SuperBowl for the ads are the same ones who say they only read Playboy for the articles.
@lloydrang: There's no gangsta way to say "Oopsie Daisy." I know that now.
@MikeLonghelt: Vampire who is obsessed with his diet.