@JasonLastname: Sees friend from highschool. Gives friend a big hug. Refuses to let go of friend. Becomes siamese friends.
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@Reverend_Scott: It's the year 2354, the world is now like that futuristic Bruce Willis movie. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the other one. No,
@KeetPotato: [babies txting] "my dad's thumb just came off" lol wtf 😂 "wait its back on again nvm" ok lmao "he just stole my nose" im phoning the police
@WarrenHolstein: If Miley Cyrus really wanted to shock us at the VMAs, she'd show up in a burka covered in a snowsuit and slowly add more clothing each hour.
@Brampersandon_: ME: *to friend* you're dumb as a box of rocks lol BOX OF ROCKS: *putting finishing touches on his astrophysics thesis* dude