@fanofhell: [sees people filming a movie] yeah real original. a movie. like that's never been done before
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@donni: Stop saying "There's plenty of fish in the sea." I'm sick of fish seducing all our human women!
@TheTweetOfGod: The platypus is what happens when you take a perfectly good concept and send it to network executives for notes.
@iinkedZombie: Wife: "Oh my God! You really ONLY hear what you want!" Me: "Thanks! I've been working out!"