@fanofhell: [sees people filming a movie] yeah real original. a movie. like that's never been done before
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@WhiskeySoured: Never judge a book by its cover. Besides, you're on Twitter and don't even read books.
@shkeeber: Any question is a hard hitting question when it's written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
@dlockw21: TSA: Sir, you can't bring that bottle of whiskey on the flight. Me: Um, this is my Service Whiskey. See his little vest? TSA: ....