@joeldanger: Sending an insult with a typo is like laughing at someone for tripping and falling and then tripping and falling right front of them.
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@SteveDutzy: My pics are real. I don't use any filters. I don't even use coffee filters. I eat coffee straight outta the container like a man
@matt___nelson: [angrily taking off banana suit] "Why didn't you tell me we were going to a funeral"
@AristotlesNZ: Me: My friend really likes you. Her: I'm a lesbian. Me: Ah ok... Her: ... Me: ... Her: ... Me: So... What part of Lesbia are you from?
@WhatsHerFace33: Friend - You smell nice, what's that perfume you're wearing? Me - Fear and fabric softener.