@KeithAshers: Sending everyone soggy empty boxes this year with a note - Hope you enjoy this expensive ice sculpture made in your honor. #CheapChristmas
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@rickygervais: RIP Ronaldo's Moth. The world's most famous footballing insect has died after a long and illustrious career. He was 6 weeks old.
@Jeffwni: 13yo Jesus: You're not my real dad! I HATE YOU! Joseph: One of these days boy, I'll— [distant thunder] I'll do nothing. Absolutely nothing.
@AKATriple: To the first two people who thought Superman was a bird or plane... why the hell were you so excited?
@Karate_Horse: You can sign up for as many karate classes as you want there is literally no one monitoring this