@TravLeBlanc: "Sensitive" guys who only retweet chicks, you're not fooling anyone.
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@tweetingdouche: Does anyone know how the lady reacted when Van Gogh gave her his ear? Was it positive? Cause I'm running out of ideas for gifts.
@Brampersandon_: ME: so what do you do GUY: I'm an oral surgeon ME: *imagining him doing heart surgery with just his mouth* wow I bet you're a helluva kisser
@tehaveragejoel: *bites nails* Sorry. Bad habit. I haven't been on a date in a while "I can see why" she says, pulling her fingers out of my mouth