@natedog2049: Serial killers start their day by eating breakfast at McDonalds. Let me rephrase. They arent serial killers until they order & have to wait.
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@Mike_Vanatta: My wife complains that I never open the car door for her, but when I do she's all, "Stop it, you're driving too fast! We're on a bridge!"
@HTownHarold: Guys guide to AC levels in car with spouse: If you're hot, she's cold If you're comfortable, she's cold If you're cold, she's not in the car
@t_cuppp: Starting a Psychofit class. Basically, I sneak up on people showering and chase em with a knife til they achieve their desired body weight.
@Alex_N_Chains: I just felt a weird twitching somewhere inside me. I think it might be my liver waving a white flag.