@LoveNLunchmeat: Serious question... Would Titanic have been more romantic if they had both died, but holding hands and floating, like otters?
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@hippieswordfish: 'welcome to subway how can i-' ME:*punches counter*WHY DOES THE KOOL-AID MAN CARRY A SMALLER PITCHER OF KOOL-AID 'sir-' M: IS IT HIS PISS
@TheToddWilliams: The sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.” uses every letter of the alphabet and is also very judgmental about the dog.
@tastefactory: Hey u should give your secret boss this Coke. *bottle says "Share a Coke w/ the Drug Maker Guy"* *undercover cop's fake mustache falls off*
@Home_Halfway: 1) Put on chicken costume 2) Go to store to pick up eggs 3) Run up to store manager and emotionally scream "WHO DID THIS TO MY CHILDREN????"