@Phook75: Seriously considering robbing the ski mask store down the street but I'm having the hardest time deciding what to wear
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@EndhooS: [Looking at ultrasound monitor with my wife] Wife: Look at it's little heart beating! Isn't it amazing... Me: It looks like a crossiant
@WilliamAder: We have a local weatherman who often forecasts "changeable skies." He makes a lot of money to make that call.
@therealeatwood: [In this tweet spoons fall in love harder than anyone] “My darling I am a spoon for you, you fill my world with frogs” [and frogs are joy]