@Carmensadie: Seriously guys, people drive like shit when I'm tweeting
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@huntigula: ME: 3 Big Macs please. lol it's my cheat day CLERK: you ordered the same thing yesterday ME:[leans in] why don't u mind your own gd business
@djdarrellripley: Him: I'll pay for dinner. Me: I want to pay. Him: I'll feel better if you let me pay. Me: Well, if your health is involved, go ahead...
@timdonakowski: If I ever meet someone who's been in a coma since 2004, I'm trying to sell them a USB drive for $150.