@joerogan: Seth Rogen and James Franco having their movie pulled due to terrorist threats sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen and James Franco movie.
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@Brampersandon_: [doing a sexy skype chat] GF: show me urs & I'll show u mine ME: mmm baby I can't wait *we both lower our cams to show each other our dogs*
@Spaced_Cowboy00: I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.
@jasonmustian: "Did it hurt...when you fell from heaven and lost the use of your legs?"--bad pick-up line to use on a handicapped person