@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old thought it was pretty cool that Simba could do whatever he wanted after Mufasa died. This is concerning.

@TrueTorontoGirl: Hate it when I put on active wear and nothing happens.

@causticbob: The kidnapper rang and said "£10,000 and you get your wife back" "Negotiate with him!" advised the policeman "£20,000 and she's all yours"

@KenJennings: Once my son was shooting nerfguns @ the clock &when I asked why said "bc time killed the dinosaurs." My kids are never leaving home are they

@NYC_Blonde: "You know your addiction is bad when you lie and say you're at the gym when really you're out shopping" is the title of my autobiography.