@Kauaibride: settle down twitter crush. i didn't ask your last name to google you. i wanted to see how it sounded with the names i've picked for our kids
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@thentherewasmo: I'm not saying your cat doesn't care about you, I'm saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well
@IamJackBoot: At this late date, the only way I'm gonna be famous is if I save a baby from a fire. And the baby is filming the whole thing with his phone.