@weinerdog4life: Sex is a lot like Mario Kart, you go really fast, you throw some bananas, Wario is there.
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@cottoncandaddy: I’m gonna go my whole life without knowing my blood type I swear to god. like I’m gonna end up in an ambulance one day and the paramedic’s gonna ask me what my blood type is and my dumbass is gonna be like “idk lol red”
@SamGrittner: You're one day closer to death AND you get free cake? What’s not to like about birthdays?
@CornOnTheGoblin: ♫ she's just a small time girl workin at Jurassic Woooorld opened a raptor cage now they're everywhere ♫