@jaibashman: shaking hands is weird, it's like "hey, i don't know you. let's touch each other"
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@ByYourLogic: i'm every guy who says he's taking a twitter break for mental health reasons and then returns 6 hours later
@sammyrhodes: My wife: "Can you pass me the stud finder?" Me: "You're the stud finder!" *deep, awkward silence* Me: "Here it is."