@unibrowbeater: Shaved my girlfriend's cat. Think she'll take the hint?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AintNoFamily: Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love? If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.
@Sassafrantz: My whole life has felt like one big hammock and everybody is watching me try to get out of it.
@Easy_Tiger__: Gf: do I look fat in these pants? Brain: oh god it's a trap, this is what we've been training for Me: I've seen worse Brain: WTF MAN