@Holy_Mowgli: [shaving legs] hang on, these aren't mine
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@catstronomical: Cat: [I am the cousin of tigers, leopards, lions, panthers, and pumas] Me: *putting tiara on cat's head* you're a pretty pretty princess!
@QwertyJones3: The only thing worse than finding a hair in your food is realizing that the person who prepared it has a bald head.
@Mom_Overboard: Boy, was I disappointed when I found out canoodling doesn't involve actual noodles.