@sammyrhodes: Shaving your beard is a great way to remember what you looked like when you were 5.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jeannerbeaner: Pronounce it "Valentimes Day" so Cupid will know to shoot you right in your stupid face.
@LuvPug: He was like, 'We're all slowly dying' So I was like, 'WRONG' and I threw him in front of a moving bus.
@merican_ninjy: "Let the chips fall where they may." -My kids when they're eating chips on the couch.
@AnOrangeSNES: In 8th grade I had to take care of an egg to teach me responsibility. That egg hatched, and I raised the chicken as my own. He was delicious