@sammyrhodes: Shaving your beard is a great way to remember what you looked like when you were 5.
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@joeljeffrey: Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you dont know the man & he doesnt know youre eating his popcorn
@captainkalvis: [my dog runs up to me, bone in his mouth] you better stop bringing these back, we’ve got like 200 more to dispose of
@TheBoydP: I love that old Revolutionary War saying about shower sex “Don’t shoot until you see the soap in their eyes…” or something like that.