@sammyrhodes: Shaving your beard is a great way to remember what you looked like when you were 5.
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@C_A_Guardiola: Twitter mobile app is still showing stars not hearts so I'm going to stay on here like those violinists at the end of Titanic.
@superdadatron: I'm gonna cook tons of bacon, crush it up and sell it for extra money to support my family. Bacon Bad
@arandomhim: I bet the guy who invented the percent symbol, %, got his inspiration from watching his wife put on a seatbelt