@IGotsSmarts: She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically.
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@Karissajem: Me: I have a memory like an elephant. Him: Elephants get drunk all the time and forget everything too? Me: Yes.
@juliussharpe: After watching "Breaking Bad" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician.
@Pee_And_Giggles: 18: You & I are getting fat bec. u cook so damn good! IT'S.ALL.YOUR.FAULT! I was insulted, complimented, then scolded in under 2.5 seconds.