@IGotsSmarts: She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically.
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@UNTRESOR: The inventor of the USB cable died recently. They're still trying to figure out which way to put his casket in the ground.
@GuyConfused: Love my pillow so much because it doesn't leave my house in the morning after spending the night with me.
@KindOfASmartass: I hate when you tell someone you're bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you're not quite that bored