@DurtMcHurtt: She can't leave if you're wearing all of her clothes.
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@robdelaney: Pretty cool that the letters "B.J." stand for the two greatest things in the world: beef jerky & Billy Joel.
@Book_Krazy: Satan: What's that? God: Babies. I made them the sweetest creatures in the universe. Satan: I see. *invents screaming* God: lol good one!
@ppppolls: 30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion
@BamDebikins: Yes, mother, I have gained weight. No, it was not appropriate to point it out by pinching my muffin top in front of thirty people.