@FroggyGonnaJump: She might be Satan, but if I'm going to hell, I want to be sleeping with the boss.
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [God making water] "it helps plants" ANGEL: nice "cleans things" A: ok "u die if u don't drink it" A: "& drown if u drink it wrong" A: what
@Parkerlawyer: Told my kids I loved them at carpool and no one responded so I yelled, "I love you too!" while hanging out of the sunroof. Me, 1 Kids, 0
@philmann: Don't be fooled - orca whales are just penguins set to widescreen 16:9 instead of the usual 4:3.