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@ArfMeasures: ME: *stuffs sock down my pants to impress my date* DATE: I'm not that impressed ME: I should have done it before you got here
@Jade_VK: [campfire] ME: They say these trees are over 200 years old. Man, if trees could talk... TREE: Please stop burning my flesh to cook hot dogs.
@AndyAsAdjective: *bolts upright in bed, instantly wide awake in the middle of the night* "FIRE TRUCKS SHOULD BE CALLED WATER TRUCKS"