@Ndeshi_M: Should I ever become president everyone who uses the word “bae” will be sterilized.
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@Black__Elvis: For years I thought that my wife was repulsed by me but as it turns out she just doesn't put out on the first marriage.
@uberpaki: My fellow Canadians, Complain about the heat just *once* and it will get taken away from us. Don't be the reason we can't have nice things
@Piecezilla: Apologies your honor [slides ventriloquist dummy back under my seat] I was told these proceedings were going to be televised.
@AnOrangeSNES: *Mom Godzilla calls Godzilla during the morning* Mom Godzilla: Are you eating your cities? Belfast is the most important meal of the day.