@Ndeshi_M: Should I ever become president everyone who uses the word “bae” will be sterilized.
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@jctwritesstuff: Why would I want to talk to your baby? On the phone. It's a baby. If I wanted to hear random noises when I talk, I have a husband for that.
@SteveKoehler22: Real Road Signs (What they mean) "Rough road" (Road sucks) "Construction zone" (Unattended orange cone zone) "Lanes shift" (Confusing af)
@KizerBillhelm: *dies* *gets to heaven* *sees furries everywhere* Me: What the... Jeebus: Hell hath no furry, man *laughs, puts on giraffe costume*
@TayTayJustine: Look, if you can take a smoke break, I should be able to take a twitter break. It's not like one addiction outweighs the other, HR!