@singwithTaffy: Shouldn't Alien vs. Predator just be called Alien vs. Alien?
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@juliussharpe: Meet your girlfriend's brother then realize you're screwing the female version of a guy.
@neerjagurnani: The best way to refuse a credit card telemarketer is to tell them you're unemployed. Guarantees them hanging up within seconds.
@david8hughes: [phone rings] "We've removed your son's missing picture from our milk cartons." "You found him?" "No, people stopped buying milk."