@MichaelTrying: Shouldn't elevators have a different name for the trip back down?
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@HeyZeus666: Fatherhood Tip : If there's puke in your coat pocket and poop on your shoulder, you're holding the baby upside down.
@bombfunk75: Get your rock star name, like Axl Rose did, by selecting a car part and then a flower. Mine is Crankshaft Tulip
@pleatedjeans: [stands in church] Geese be with you [hands neighbor a beautiful goose] And also w/you [he hands me a different yet equally beautiful goose]
@Karissajem: Me: I have a memory like an elephant. Him: Elephants get drunk all the time and forget everything too? Me: Yes.