@PlasmaChemist: Shouldn't octopus apendages be called eightacles?
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@EvansPosts: When relatives say “sure looks like you’re having a lot of fun in college” ya Tina I don’t post the pics of me crying in the library on Facebook
@Reverend_Scott: And then God said, "Let there be Black Friday." and he saw that it was a terrible idea but it was too late cuz people were already in line.
@thelaurenobrien: Sometimes when I'm in the shower I'll hear a strange noise and start singing EXTRA good in case the intruder has some connections.
@ilovepie84: Tattoos tell a story, like tribal tattoos tell a story of a guy that wears sunglasses indoors.