@Rlpihl: Shout out to Clifford the Big Red Dog. He coulda eaten those kids a long time ago
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@Slims_Ramblings: First Date: "So, tell me something no one else knows about you." Well, my wife thinks I'm at the movies and you think I'm single.
@McNarstle: Catch a baby opossum, give it a 12-hr sedative, and hide it in the glove compartment of the car of the person who's dating your ex.