@Rlpihl: Shout out to Clifford the Big Red Dog. He coulda eaten those kids a long time ago
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@murrman5: "Behold, a 3 headed cat" "um, its just 3 cats taped together" "Behold, a 12 legg...*tape rips, one cat runs away*..errr 8 legged cat."
@iwearaonesie: "This is why I hate fancy restaurants, I can never pronounce anything on the menu" -me, drunk, holding the Waffle House menu upside down
@crushingbort: They put babies on packages of toilet paper because that's what we used to wipe with before scientists discovered they grow up into people
@WeissBrandon: I get it short people, I get it. Oooops sorry typo, I'll get it short people, I'll get it.