@Dirty_Naomi: Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?

@jwoodham: Every time I go for a run I think "why am I even doing this?" Then I look back and see all the cops chasing me and it's like "oh yeah, duh."

@RyanSaysWords: The Foo Fighters did a really good job, because I haven't had to deal with any Foo in years.

@AlexvanBeek: Women, If you could just go ahead, get a plane & spell it out in the sky for us, that'd be greeeat. Sincerely, Men

@qwertying: Wife: I wish we could have sex like we used to... Husband: Do you mean with other people?