@SkinnerSteven: Shout out to my self-aware friends, you know who you are
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@pleatedjeans: idea: business cards that just say NO Sir can I have 5 mins of ur [card] Girl can I get ur number [card] BRO DID U STEAL MY NO CARDS [card]
@jimmy_sharpe: I just know my cause of death will be trying to scoot my office chair around as fast as possible.
@Barknado69: Amoeba: dad, how was I made? Amoeba Dad: well son, when a man loves himself very much
@iGreenMonk: When someone tell me , "long time no see" i usually reply, "I know, we're really not that good of friends"