@SkinnerSteven: Shout out to my self-aware friends, you know who you are
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@PandAmonnia: *boyfriend calls girlfriend* Bf: "Hey Babe, I love you!" Gf: "we're breaking up" Bf: "no we're not, I can hear you just fine."
@KKAlThani: Just banged my toe on a table & kept moaning in pain so much that I made a new Coldplay song.
@momopface: WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You're an adult" every few minutes.