@GrantTanaka: Shoutout to the wife for stacking her shampoo bottles in the shower like she's on her last 3 turns on Jenga.
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@duplicitron: I choose what country to visit each year by the shape of the first chicken nugget I eat.
@SteveKoehler22: I got fired from my job as a diesel fitter in a panties factory. We would hold the panties up, inspect them and say "Dese'll fit her"