@funnyordie: Shouts out to the Trump Tower suction cup guy for being the second craziest person to ascend that building.
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@iamspacegirl: if squids were land animals sometimes you'd be walking along and you'd look up and BAM squid in a tree
@Shot_Of_Cabo: [ phone call ] Wife: You want the white 7" or the black 9". Me: The black 9". ..and if she wasn't tablet shopping this would be awkward.