@omgthatspunny: Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A Flat Miner.
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@chuuew: My friend's getting rich by selling photos of koi in clothes. He says it's as easy as shooting fish in apparel.
@RelatabIe: whenever my mom criticizes me i yell “it’s probably genetic” and run out of the room as fast as i can
@JohnnyNami: "If someone wanted to murder you, a night light wouldn't stop them" I will never lie to my future children.