@SCbchbum: Shut up & eat. There are people starving in Abercrombie & Fitch.
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@KeetRidley: "Hey, your fly's down" Oh shit.. *pets fly's head* you'll be alright little buddy, chin up.. we'll get you some new wings
@Schroofles: I hate babies when they are crying. I hate people who love babies & think babies are cute. I hate grown up babies who make more babies.
@lisaxy424: My grandma got her bathroom redone with this sparkly gold-specked tile and she just called it her "golden shower" so goodnight.
@DamonHunzeker: "A Bunch of Stuff I Remembered and Then Compiled into a Narratively Cohesive Yet Inconsistently Compelling Tome: A Memoir"