@SCbchbum: Shut up & eat. There are people starving in Abercrombie & Fitch.
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@Lazer_Cat_: Independence Day was basically aliens blew shit up and then we gave them a copy of Windows and won the war.
@briancthayer: [exchanging vows] HIM: I'll love you forever. HER: I'll love you until you leave me a voicemail. HIM: Wait, what?! PRIEST: No, that's fair.
@ericsshadow: I get all my indisputable political facts from what my uncle Harold posts on Facebook. Like did u know Obama killed the last living unicorn?