@KevinFarzad: Sick and tired of birds going to any concert they want for free. Maybe get a job and buy a ticket like the rest of us.
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@Schmoodles: You can get out of jury duty on the first day by blatantly winking at the defendant as you give them a double thumbs up.
@BuckyIsotope: ME: if you’re under my roof you follow my rules SON: fine ME: well? SON: *sighs* a ninja turtle could beat up a transformer ME: thank you
@Kyle_Lippert: EMOTICON GUIDE :) I'm happy ;) Having a seizure. Still happy :/ Having a stroke. Not happy :( I'm a grouper .) Lost an eye. Still happy
@edana_irish: Why girls want to be mermaids 1. No pants 2. No periods 3. Perfect hair 4. You get to lure men to their deaths 5. Free clam bra