@KevinFarzad: Sick and tired of birds going to any concert they want for free. Maybe get a job and buy a ticket like the rest of us.
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@Abusitron: How many children do I want to have? Kind of a weird question for a first date, but umm I guess enough to finish the temple
@RapeyRaperton: People that still call into radio stations are probably doing it from house phones.
@extranapkins: Remember "pantsing" people in high school... sneaking up behind one of your bros and slipping an extra pair of pants on over his pants
@DaddyBeerGuy: In case you haven't checked Facebook, It's hot today, the fireworks were beautiful, and 32 friends invited you to play candy crush!