@AimeeHelene1: Sick of obnoxious ring tones in the office, so I've set mine to the sound of a girl screaming (horror movie style).
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@protolalia: My ex DM'd me to say I'm acting creepy then unfollowed me. Luckily, I have his password so I just refollowed myself and told him he's wrong.
@SteveKoehler22: The pizza theorem: "Pizzas must be circular. They must be cut into triangles and put into square boxes" -Science
@Vodkantots: My psychologist and psychiatrist don't agree on my diagnosis so yes, I get what it's like to have people fighting over me.