@weinerdog4life: Side Effects May Include: upset stomach, diarrhea, a tail, some hooves, ok so you might turn into a horse
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@truegritrumble: WIFE: Don't go into the ball pit with the kids. You always lose your keys. ME: *already in the ball pit* You're not going to believe this.
@Thynebear: [baby takes its first steps] me in a cop outfit: not even close to a straight line buddy, you're going away for a long long time.
@mellimelle: In case anyone asks, we found these dead hookers while we were digging holes in the woods.