@stonedcoldlazy: Since Canada isn't making the penny anymore-did the price of a thought just go up to a nickel?
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@Token_Geezer: When I'm in a room full of toddlers, I can't help but scan it for potential serial killers
@AHundredElbows: [home late] Where were you? "Uh, with my.. gf?" Gf? Well, tell us about her! What's her name? [commercial on tv] uh.. Lisa.. Brandnewtoyota
@werehedgehog: Don't go chasing waterfalls. *turns on tap* We have their children. They will come to us.