@stonedcoldlazy: Since Canada isn't making the penny anymore-did the price of a thought just go up to a nickel?
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@LaurelleMartin: My boys are gamers and I'm single It's like a race to see who can use the most batteries
@GaryJanetti: Before you tell me anything about your kid you should know I'm going to mentally leave my body.
@DirtMcTurd: Honey, can we skip that wedding this weekend? "What? Why?" It sounds boring and there's no way that couple makes it.. "It's OUR wedding!"
@DurtMcHurtt: [making out] ME: *grabs a blindfold from the nightstand* GIRLFRIEND: omg really? ME: *blindfolding the dog at the end of the bed* really.