@BazarComedy: Since it would take human contact to get Ebola. Everyone on Twitter is safe.
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@PaulyPeligroso: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Hide all that weed because police lights are too.
@AdamOfEarth: "That's one small step for man. That's one open fridge for man. That's one good sandwich for-" "Neil! Stop." "I WALKED ON THE MOON, JANET"
@TwatWaffler69: Wife wants to hang pictures of our kids in the bathroom. Like they don't already spend enough time in there with us.