@BazarComedy: Since it would take human contact to get Ebola. Everyone on Twitter is safe.
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@bromanconsul: met the cutest girl today. her eyes were gentle, like the light from a phone screen and her smile glowed, like the light from a phone screen
@shkeeber: Dating must've been so easy for cavemen. This my cave. This my fire. You like rock? I have many.
@Notawhiner: Everyone was texting her good morning sunshine, so I texted her "good morning solar eclipse" Yeah, don't do that.