@alexwyse: Since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.
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@squirrel74wkgn: Just once...one time; can't we buy a tree that doesn't try to attack me when I come home drunk at 2am.
@juliussharpe: I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they're going to be talking.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: If there is an opportunity for me to put my pants on backwards in the dark, I take it every time. Apparently.