@alexwyse: Since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.
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@Brampersandon_: ME (age 32): I never had many friends growing up idk why ME (age 12): I hope my baby legs fall out soon so my adult legs can grow in
@causticbob: What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team? The guy would survive the first round.
@CaseyMichelle__: Well if you didn't want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
@NotthatAdamWest: "Bless your heart" is southern for "I'm pretty sure you were dropped on your head as a child."