@daemonic3: Siri: Retweet me.
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@Matt_the_1st: Due to an unforeseen error during last night's love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
@VampireIguana: Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally
@Wine_Charmer: [lying in front of the fire] 11: Do you think she's asleep or dead? 9: *throws toy, 2 massive dogs pounce on me* Me: *screams* 9: Asleep
@HatfieldAnne: My strong stance on drinking milk straight from the carton has met with no opposition from people who haven’t caught me yet.