@EmilioEmm: It’s HOMOsapiens, not HETEROsapiens. It’s the Bi-ble, not the Straight-ble.

@Eden_Eats: Hey men, don't be fooled by maxipad commercials. Ladies aren't really full of blue windshield washer fluid.

@marebytes: Brutally honest? I'm always honest ... I guess the brutality would depend on your level of aversion to the truth

@68Cly29: The neighbors are looking at me strangely again. Like they have never seen a man sitting on his roof with a pair binoculars before.

@Sassafrantz: My boss at Walmart said I have to stop Febreezing the homeless and that they aren't homeless, they're customers.