@JasonBerlin: 1. Bang knee on table - curse life. 2. Check credit card balance. 3. Think back to sweet moment when you banged knee on table.

@BromanConsul: "You knew what you were getting into, Charlene" "Jim your addiction to long walks on the beach is destroying our marriage" "YOU READ MY BIO"

@tequilasaltlife: He's going to change just for you? Wow, you must be a very special kind of stupid

@Brianhopecomedy: Went on a trampoline with my 1 year old and learned that if you jump JUST right it unfortunately turns into a baby catapult.

@Cryptic1iam: This is an ugly term. This "Stalker". I prefer unpaid investigator.