@knot_eye: Siri, when does the restraining order expire?
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@dshack8: Newlywed: We can overcome anything, cause we're in love! 10 yrs later: If he leaves time on the microwave again I'm gonna set him on fire.
@ImAlexOliver: Just installed an egg cannon on the hood of my car. Flipping people off and cursing at them just doesn't satisfy me anymore.