@knot_eye: Siri, when does the restraining order expire?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@urmumsausername: Dear America Would you please take the 's' off the word 'legos' and put it back on the word 'math' where it belongs. Many thanks England
@Black__Elvis: My girlfriend accused me of sleeping with her sister and I was like, "How can that be possible when her snoring keeps me up all night?"
@robfee: If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears.