@t_cuppp: Sit-ups are no fun, sharpie abs are definitely the way to go if you want permanent results.
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@TheRolo: [Gets cut off by a Pruis] *Speeds up to cut off Prius then drops a banana peel behind me* *Prius spins out of control* Thug life.
@JKNenagh: Policeman:"Sir, we have sufficient evidence to believe that this vehicle has been stolen. Me: how Policeman: Step out of the tank Sir
@rockymomax: [baby finally falls asleep] ME: *tip toes to couch* I can finally relax DOG: I'M GONNA BARK FOR NO REASON